Dehydration

After months of routine and visitors, I haven't been on an independent quest for ages. It has been wonderful having so many visitors, but you tend to go to the same attractions again and again.


It's fair to say I have been experiencing a period of uncertainty. That's the funny thing about me. I can swing from pure clarify to debilitating uncertainty, in the space of a day.


I have been busy making plans, dreaming and trying to understand the world around me. I have been waiting for the wind to change.


C.S Lewis said 'you are never to old, to dream a new dream' but I believe it gets harder the older you grow. You have more factors to consider, more good and bad comparisons, but does that mean more risk?


Throughout my life I have made choices, some have taken me to new heights, some have left scars. Sometimes the scars are too painful to even consider making any new changes, sometimes I see the advantage of each and everything that has happened to me.


It's also safe to say I'm a deep thinker. No matter how much I try to change this, I find some level of comfort, carefully thinking about everything that has been and everything that could be. I spend time reading, seeking inspiration and exploring the depts of my heart, soul and emotions. The length of time I do this for is never the same.


I have learnt to reach out to people and I'm developing my ability to be honest. I've read a lot about discipline and right and wrong.



I have found it hard to stick to a routine in Hong Kong. I have developed bad habits. I have been holding onto negativity and it has been poisoning my body and stalling my development.


One thing that has remained strong through all of this is my faith. My faith grows in my heart and I can feel it bursting out into my actions.


I have thought about becoming a teacher, studying a masters at Hong Kong University, and starting my own business. Any change is a challenge and my heart is telling me that my Hong Kong chapter isn't over yet. My job isn't sitting well with my soul. I find the core values of my company are different to my own and don't resonate in a positive way with me. 'Fear and greed' and 'profit' are at the route of my company and that is something I don't want to be a part of and I don't believe I can change the system. Saying that, I can learn certain things where I am, and time management is something I feel is essential to my future success.

They are making changes to the structure of my day and who I report to. I know I can't be there forever, and I expect to have found something else by the end of the year. That is the most realistic plan I think I have ever made. A goal with a feasible time scale. Does it really matter when you do things, as long as you are constantly striving to improve and move forward?


My health continues to bare the brunt of my bad decisions and unhealthy choices. A visual representation of my emotional struggles. How long am I going to punish myself for the life I have lived? After all, we are all just trying to do the best we can. I will have to make some social changes. Sometimes living in a city where no one belongs means fragile company.


I have realised recently, I have an ability to connect communities. As I grow and develop my skills to recognise my strengths and weaknesses I have discovered time is a myth, encourages competition and comparison. Understanding the things you can change, and the things you have to learn too accept is part of my journey.


Is your life an outward demonstration of your deepest values, passions and beliefs? Are you grateful for all the lessons you have learnt?


I am not alone. And although sometimes I feel I am, I know deep in my heart that I am loved and I have everything to live for. I owe it to the people who have supported, believed and encouraged me. Making better decisions is something I believe will teach me about reward.


The uncertainty that I feel, doesn't make me sad. It leaves me feeling confused. Confusion isn't bad, it's the foundations of revealing clarity.


If you want something you've never had, you have to try something you've never done before. Change can be hard as it is entering into the unknown. Sacrifice can seem painful at the time, but the rewards promised are beyond your imagination.


I have talked about expectations before. I still struggle to silence my inner voice telling me what to expect. My inner voice can be bitterly cold. I haven't allowed myself much time recently to sit and listen. It seems that my inner voice needs time. And filling each and every day with distractions has left me disempowered.


Today I woke up and decided to find what I have been lacking. I set off from my apartment, with the intention of discovering a new place. I have been in Hong Kong for almost a year. I came here to explore the world and myself. I feel guilty sometimes for leaving my family and friends, this is enhanced when I am not staying true to the reasons why I left.


Hong Kong can make me feel alive, but it can also leave me exhausted and drained. There is a fine balance to life and if I can find a balance in a city that never stops, I will have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of.


The sun was high in the sky, the apprehension I felt before subsided and clarity began to reveal itself once more.






'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;


Courage to change the things I can;


And the wisdom to know the difference'






Accept. Courage. Wisdom

Serendipity

All past experiences forming the future 

Everything coming together seamlessly,

this must be destiny 

Drawing on every aspect of my journey 

Truly creating something 

The desire to help people taking over the dream of earning big money 

Kindness, love, passion and enthusiasm 

I have found faith and the core of happiness 

I was called to Hong Kong to realise my purpose here on earth 

Artists, charities, creatives and entrepreneurs 

Building your community in your own universe 

Bringing people together, to share, connect and launch, 

their dreams 

Support, networks and contacts 

We are all connected and this is proof

That anything is possible

If you just believe 

Family and friends smile at you

Now you have found your dream 

No longer two paths

A clear destination is forming 

All those questions did have answers

All that worry was unnecessary

You create the world around you 

And you can make something from nothing

Change the world everyday 

Just believe and you are on your way

Love unconditionally

See the beauty in everything 

The colours around enlighten, 

Those who are brave enough to see 

Never hide who you are

You are the most unique person 

There is no one like you 

Speak up, inspire and communicate 

Your message is the most important thing you own 

Intellectual curiosity 

Find your unique identity

Think, cry and keep going 

If you search hard enough

The truth will not escape you 

Saint Paul

               Sometimes you meet people that completely change your life. I have met hundreds, maybe thousands of people throughout my 26 years. I feel honoured to have met each and every one. 'Every time you meet someone, it gives you the chance to see a glimpse of yourself'.

I met Paul at a restaurant in Wan Chai one year ago, almost to the day. I was invited back to his apartment  for a roof top party in Happy Valley. As we all danced, talked and enjoyed the summers evening we realised we had a mutual friend, and I had unexpectedly ended up at our mutual friends apartment, which Paul and Richie now rented. 'Small world' had never been so fitting. In all of the apartments I could have ended up in, I ended up in the apartment of a girl I went to school with. It was too good a coincidence to ignore, which led me to extend my stay in Hong Kong by an extra week, only hours after we met.

We left the roof top and we started talking about films we had seen. Paul took out his film collection and I flicked through. Not one, not two but many films that I had seen were there. I'm not talking about well known films, I'm talking about films no-one apart from my sister had ever seen. Films like Genevieve, Errol Flynn's Robin Hood and Rebecca.

Paul had a friend in Hong Kong, visiting from America. He had planned an amazing tour, taking in every amazing sight, and I tagged along. I was blown away by everything. Every brick interested me, and here was Paul who had all the information anyone could ever want, telling me all about the history, the awe and the magic. I feel in love with Hong Kong there and then. I wanted more, and one evening, I sat on the 118th floor of the 4th tallest building in the world, looking over the city and decided there and then, I would move my life here. I had been introduced to a place that I couldn't leave behind. I felt my heart telling me that this was the place for me.

Me and Paul spent my final day in Hong Kong wandering around, visiting the oldest coffee shop, attending the service at St John's cathedral and enjoying some dan dan la mian at Crystal Jades. I had never met someone that I could bounce off of in this way. Sharing enthusiasm is a wonderful thing.

I went to the airport and said goodbye to Paul. I knew, deep deep down that I would be back. There was nothing stopping me from returning, and on the 26th July 2012 that is exactly what I did. Paul had offered me his room while he was on holiday and I gladly took the offer.

They say it's not the place but the people who make it. When the people and the place come together in perfect harmony, you can't ignore it.

I arrived back in Hong Kong five weeks later, on a one way ticket, with no job, no visa, nowhere to live and only two people that I knew. I started my life again. The two people I knew, I had only met for 10 days, only five weeks previously. I took a giant leap of faith, putting my trust into these two new acquaintances. I had no idea what the future would bring, but I felt very strongly, that I could make Hong Kong my own. My own story, my new life. I would stay 100% true to myself, however hard it would be.

I arrived with passion and enthusiasm. I arrived with determination and strength. I was not going to leave my family behind and not make it worth it. Nothing would take me away from my family, but Hong Kong was an opportunity for me to grow and make something for myself, and therefore be able to support my family. It is said that nothing makes the people who love you happier than seeing their loved ones happy. If I was following my dreams, my family would love me for doing so.

I stayed in Paul's flat for a month, working hard to build connections, find work and therefore, security. Before I left, Paul gave me some advice, which I kept in my mind and heart 'Hong Kong is a peer pressured place'. This advice helped me stay strong when I felt like I was making tough decisions.

By the time Paul returned I had moved out into my own apartment. We met for brunch at Top Deck on Aberdeen's famous floating restaurant. We chatted and caught up on his travels and my first month in Hong Kong. It was so nice to have him back.

Paul had a friend in town and we all headed to Macau for the day in early October. He told me all about the history and why Macua was such an amazing place. When we arrived back in Hong Kong, my passport was stamped and I was an official resident of Hong Kong. 'Journey complete' was stamped across my visa, and it felt like my journey was just beginning. It was National Day in Hong Kong and we headed to the harbour to watch the fireworks, with champagne in hand, to celebrate everything we had achieved.

We continued to explore the city and surroundings. One day, in early October we headed off to Lantau for the day. It was a beautiful sunny day, with no agenda, no time limits, just us and our enthusiasm for life and everything in it. We had brunch at the amazing Bahce, a Turkish restaurant, serving the most delicious combination of authentic food. After brunch we made our way to the second hand book shop. We stayed hours, perusing shelf after shelf of books that had all been previously loved. We purchased a few books that we wanted more than to flick through. We headed to the beach, books in hand and a free afternoon ahead of us. We sat for hours, enjoying the peace and quite, the sound of the sea, of singing and the trees bustling in the breeze. We decided not to return to Hong Kong Island just yet, and set off to The Steop, an amazing South African restaurant on the beach. We sat and enjoyed some sangria as the day turned into night. It was a magical day that I will remember forever.

I became ill in later October. I was in bed, deflated, tired and worn out. Paul called to see how I was feeling. He came over to keep me company. It was exactly what I needed, some passive companionship. Paul slept, while I read my book. They say that when you can spend time together and not feel you have to fill the silence, is when true friendship is born. I needed some quite company, and Paul was there.

Paul had some sad news. He was leaving Hong Kong and moving to Singapore. I couldn't believe it. One month after Richie left, Paul was leaving. I was warned that Hong Kong was the city of transit, but I never thought I would be saying goodbye so soon. Paul understood my passion, and was the only person who could match my desire to know more about Hong Kong. We walked the streets, we went to the cinema, we rode the tram. We had different lifestyles, different friends but we shared one passion, and that was Hong Kong. We could always share the beauty we saw, while others went about their daily lives, missing so much of the magic of the city. I made it my mission to retell the stories, share the beauty and show others what I could see.

Paul left in December but I knew we would be reunited again. He was back within weeks and we met up to tell our stories. When March rolled around, Paul was back again. It was another stunning day so we decided a picnic on the peak would be the perfect way to spend some time together. The sun was shining, we ate the most delicious cheese, bread  and drank some wine.

In late March, my family came to visit. It was a trip I had dreamed of my whole life. My family coming to see me living my dreams. Hong Kong was against me. I felt disheartened that I wasn't able to show the city I had fallen in love with in the best light. One day, I cried and there was only one person I thought of who I knew could restore my faith and that was Paul. I wanted so much for my family to meet this incredible individual who had changed my life and shown me how beautiful the world can be. We met for lunch and his enthusiasm was instantly infectious. The same enthusiasm I had seen from the moment we met. My mum and sister instantly adored him, the same way I do. From that moment, Hong Kong changed, and the remainder of their trip was perfect.

In April I had an event in Singapore. I flew down and checked into my hotel. There was one person I was desperate to see, my dear friend Paul. He had now been living in Singapore for four months so I knew he would be able to show me the city through his eyes. The eyes that had opened my heart to Hong Kong.
We wandered through China town, we saw beautiful churches, grand parks and visited museums. Paul had thought about my trip and I was once again blown away with how much thought had gone into making someone else's adventure so memorable. The act of kindness is something that is so honourable. Paul is the kindest person I have ever met. He lives to make other peoples lives more enjoyable. That is what makes Paul so unique.

Paul bought us tickets for a production of Othello in the garden of one of Singapore's great parks. We sat and enjoyed the show, with of course, another picnic.

Paul doesn't judge people, and therefore he isn't judged. Paul shares his love for life, and therefore life loves him back. Paul is the epitome of 'don't change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love you'.

I feel more than honoured that my life has been touched by this individual. I feel blessed that I met Paul. My life could have been so different if our paths had never crossed. I would not be sitting in Hong Kong, with big plans ahead of me. I would not have seen, or experienced this city in the way I do, if it wasn't for Paul.

I recently had friends staying with me that I know from Petersfield. I wrote them an itinerary, and sent them off into the city to explore and enjoy everything it has to offer. The night before they left, they took me for a drink on an amazing roof top, looking over the whole city. They told me they hadn't planned on staying more than a few days, that they didn't like big cities, and that they were so glad that they had been able to stay for two weeks. They told me they were amazed by Hong Kong. That Hong Kong had changed them. They were so thankful that I showed them the city through my eyes and experiences.

I want to be able to give people what I have been given. I am only in Hong Kong because of someone else's kindness. I was able to start a new life here, because someone gave me an opportunity. That someone was Paul. To be able to give that experience to someone else was a dream come true. I felt Paul present when they told me how wonderful their time was in Hong Kong. I had learnt from him, that sharing and giving was more important to ones happiness than anything else. Money can't buy this level of happiness. Money can't buy the experiences I have had. The lessons I have learnt form Paul have shaped and changed me. I believe in God and I believe that things happen in your life that are meant to be. Good things happen to good people. My friendship with Paul is ever lasting. And he is from this day forward, Saint Paul.

This morning, Paul boarded a plane back to his home in America. His company is taking him away from Asia. He doesn't know how long he will be away for, or if he will definitely return. Hong Kong has changed me, I see people come into my life and then leave. I have learnt from all the goodbyes that the beauty is in the memories. I used to hate saying goodbye, but now I see goodbyes as a new beginning. A new chapter. The experiences I have had outweigh the departure and the goodbyes. It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I don't miss people in the way that I used to. I feel grateful for the times I have shared with them. I have learnt to let go. I have learnt that losing control and accepting the ebb and flow of life brings peace.

Everyone is on a journey, if your paths cross it is beautiful. Sometimes people cross your path and change your direction forever. Whatever happens in the future, the experiences I have had will guide me. I can lean on my memories for support when times get tough. I have learnt to ask for help, to show vulnerability and be myself. If I can inspire, just one person, then I will have changed the world. Paul has inspired me to live the life I dreamed of. And that, I am eternally grateful for.

"Goodbye,  farewell,  au revoir,  再见,  arrivederci,  adieu,  selamat tinggal,  paalam ne"  

Read Paul's inspiring blog here: http://zaijianvillanovanihaohongkong.blogspot.hk/
Paul's blog on my trip to Singapore: http://zaijianvillanovanihaohongkong.blogspot.hk/2013/04/another-friend-in-town.html

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Yangshuo Photos

Morning bamboo boat trip down the Li River 

Wendy- This inspiring lady with bicycle tours  

Moon Hill 

Night cormorant fishing- Yangshuo Li River 

Rice paddies, Guilin 

Monkey Janes, Yangshuo. Our hostel roof top at sunset 

The long haired ladies

Our overnight bus before it filled up.