Dehydration

After months of routine and visitors, I haven't been on an independent quest for ages. It has been wonderful having so many visitors, but you tend to go to the same attractions again and again.


It's fair to say I have been experiencing a period of uncertainty. That's the funny thing about me. I can swing from pure clarify to debilitating uncertainty, in the space of a day.


I have been busy making plans, dreaming and trying to understand the world around me. I have been waiting for the wind to change.


C.S Lewis said 'you are never to old, to dream a new dream' but I believe it gets harder the older you grow. You have more factors to consider, more good and bad comparisons, but does that mean more risk?


Throughout my life I have made choices, some have taken me to new heights, some have left scars. Sometimes the scars are too painful to even consider making any new changes, sometimes I see the advantage of each and everything that has happened to me.


It's also safe to say I'm a deep thinker. No matter how much I try to change this, I find some level of comfort, carefully thinking about everything that has been and everything that could be. I spend time reading, seeking inspiration and exploring the depts of my heart, soul and emotions. The length of time I do this for is never the same.


I have learnt to reach out to people and I'm developing my ability to be honest. I've read a lot about discipline and right and wrong.



I have found it hard to stick to a routine in Hong Kong. I have developed bad habits. I have been holding onto negativity and it has been poisoning my body and stalling my development.


One thing that has remained strong through all of this is my faith. My faith grows in my heart and I can feel it bursting out into my actions.


I have thought about becoming a teacher, studying a masters at Hong Kong University, and starting my own business. Any change is a challenge and my heart is telling me that my Hong Kong chapter isn't over yet. My job isn't sitting well with my soul. I find the core values of my company are different to my own and don't resonate in a positive way with me. 'Fear and greed' and 'profit' are at the route of my company and that is something I don't want to be a part of and I don't believe I can change the system. Saying that, I can learn certain things where I am, and time management is something I feel is essential to my future success.

They are making changes to the structure of my day and who I report to. I know I can't be there forever, and I expect to have found something else by the end of the year. That is the most realistic plan I think I have ever made. A goal with a feasible time scale. Does it really matter when you do things, as long as you are constantly striving to improve and move forward?


My health continues to bare the brunt of my bad decisions and unhealthy choices. A visual representation of my emotional struggles. How long am I going to punish myself for the life I have lived? After all, we are all just trying to do the best we can. I will have to make some social changes. Sometimes living in a city where no one belongs means fragile company.


I have realised recently, I have an ability to connect communities. As I grow and develop my skills to recognise my strengths and weaknesses I have discovered time is a myth, encourages competition and comparison. Understanding the things you can change, and the things you have to learn too accept is part of my journey.


Is your life an outward demonstration of your deepest values, passions and beliefs? Are you grateful for all the lessons you have learnt?


I am not alone. And although sometimes I feel I am, I know deep in my heart that I am loved and I have everything to live for. I owe it to the people who have supported, believed and encouraged me. Making better decisions is something I believe will teach me about reward.


The uncertainty that I feel, doesn't make me sad. It leaves me feeling confused. Confusion isn't bad, it's the foundations of revealing clarity.


If you want something you've never had, you have to try something you've never done before. Change can be hard as it is entering into the unknown. Sacrifice can seem painful at the time, but the rewards promised are beyond your imagination.


I have talked about expectations before. I still struggle to silence my inner voice telling me what to expect. My inner voice can be bitterly cold. I haven't allowed myself much time recently to sit and listen. It seems that my inner voice needs time. And filling each and every day with distractions has left me disempowered.


Today I woke up and decided to find what I have been lacking. I set off from my apartment, with the intention of discovering a new place. I have been in Hong Kong for almost a year. I came here to explore the world and myself. I feel guilty sometimes for leaving my family and friends, this is enhanced when I am not staying true to the reasons why I left.


Hong Kong can make me feel alive, but it can also leave me exhausted and drained. There is a fine balance to life and if I can find a balance in a city that never stops, I will have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of.


The sun was high in the sky, the apprehension I felt before subsided and clarity began to reveal itself once more.






'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;


Courage to change the things I can;


And the wisdom to know the difference'






Accept. Courage. Wisdom

Serendipity

All past experiences forming the future 

Everything coming together seamlessly,

this must be destiny 

Drawing on every aspect of my journey 

Truly creating something 

The desire to help people taking over the dream of earning big money 

Kindness, love, passion and enthusiasm 

I have found faith and the core of happiness 

I was called to Hong Kong to realise my purpose here on earth 

Artists, charities, creatives and entrepreneurs 

Building your community in your own universe 

Bringing people together, to share, connect and launch, 

their dreams 

Support, networks and contacts 

We are all connected and this is proof

That anything is possible

If you just believe 

Family and friends smile at you

Now you have found your dream 

No longer two paths

A clear destination is forming 

All those questions did have answers

All that worry was unnecessary

You create the world around you 

And you can make something from nothing

Change the world everyday 

Just believe and you are on your way

Love unconditionally

See the beauty in everything 

The colours around enlighten, 

Those who are brave enough to see 

Never hide who you are

You are the most unique person 

There is no one like you 

Speak up, inspire and communicate 

Your message is the most important thing you own 

Intellectual curiosity 

Find your unique identity

Think, cry and keep going 

If you search hard enough

The truth will not escape you 

Saint Paul

               Sometimes you meet people that completely change your life. I have met hundreds, maybe thousands of people throughout my 26 years. I feel honoured to have met each and every one. 'Every time you meet someone, it gives you the chance to see a glimpse of yourself'.

I met Paul at a restaurant in Wan Chai one year ago, almost to the day. I was invited back to his apartment  for a roof top party in Happy Valley. As we all danced, talked and enjoyed the summers evening we realised we had a mutual friend, and I had unexpectedly ended up at our mutual friends apartment, which Paul and Richie now rented. 'Small world' had never been so fitting. In all of the apartments I could have ended up in, I ended up in the apartment of a girl I went to school with. It was too good a coincidence to ignore, which led me to extend my stay in Hong Kong by an extra week, only hours after we met.

We left the roof top and we started talking about films we had seen. Paul took out his film collection and I flicked through. Not one, not two but many films that I had seen were there. I'm not talking about well known films, I'm talking about films no-one apart from my sister had ever seen. Films like Genevieve, Errol Flynn's Robin Hood and Rebecca.

Paul had a friend in Hong Kong, visiting from America. He had planned an amazing tour, taking in every amazing sight, and I tagged along. I was blown away by everything. Every brick interested me, and here was Paul who had all the information anyone could ever want, telling me all about the history, the awe and the magic. I feel in love with Hong Kong there and then. I wanted more, and one evening, I sat on the 118th floor of the 4th tallest building in the world, looking over the city and decided there and then, I would move my life here. I had been introduced to a place that I couldn't leave behind. I felt my heart telling me that this was the place for me.

Me and Paul spent my final day in Hong Kong wandering around, visiting the oldest coffee shop, attending the service at St John's cathedral and enjoying some dan dan la mian at Crystal Jades. I had never met someone that I could bounce off of in this way. Sharing enthusiasm is a wonderful thing.

I went to the airport and said goodbye to Paul. I knew, deep deep down that I would be back. There was nothing stopping me from returning, and on the 26th July 2012 that is exactly what I did. Paul had offered me his room while he was on holiday and I gladly took the offer.

They say it's not the place but the people who make it. When the people and the place come together in perfect harmony, you can't ignore it.

I arrived back in Hong Kong five weeks later, on a one way ticket, with no job, no visa, nowhere to live and only two people that I knew. I started my life again. The two people I knew, I had only met for 10 days, only five weeks previously. I took a giant leap of faith, putting my trust into these two new acquaintances. I had no idea what the future would bring, but I felt very strongly, that I could make Hong Kong my own. My own story, my new life. I would stay 100% true to myself, however hard it would be.

I arrived with passion and enthusiasm. I arrived with determination and strength. I was not going to leave my family behind and not make it worth it. Nothing would take me away from my family, but Hong Kong was an opportunity for me to grow and make something for myself, and therefore be able to support my family. It is said that nothing makes the people who love you happier than seeing their loved ones happy. If I was following my dreams, my family would love me for doing so.

I stayed in Paul's flat for a month, working hard to build connections, find work and therefore, security. Before I left, Paul gave me some advice, which I kept in my mind and heart 'Hong Kong is a peer pressured place'. This advice helped me stay strong when I felt like I was making tough decisions.

By the time Paul returned I had moved out into my own apartment. We met for brunch at Top Deck on Aberdeen's famous floating restaurant. We chatted and caught up on his travels and my first month in Hong Kong. It was so nice to have him back.

Paul had a friend in town and we all headed to Macau for the day in early October. He told me all about the history and why Macua was such an amazing place. When we arrived back in Hong Kong, my passport was stamped and I was an official resident of Hong Kong. 'Journey complete' was stamped across my visa, and it felt like my journey was just beginning. It was National Day in Hong Kong and we headed to the harbour to watch the fireworks, with champagne in hand, to celebrate everything we had achieved.

We continued to explore the city and surroundings. One day, in early October we headed off to Lantau for the day. It was a beautiful sunny day, with no agenda, no time limits, just us and our enthusiasm for life and everything in it. We had brunch at the amazing Bahce, a Turkish restaurant, serving the most delicious combination of authentic food. After brunch we made our way to the second hand book shop. We stayed hours, perusing shelf after shelf of books that had all been previously loved. We purchased a few books that we wanted more than to flick through. We headed to the beach, books in hand and a free afternoon ahead of us. We sat for hours, enjoying the peace and quite, the sound of the sea, of singing and the trees bustling in the breeze. We decided not to return to Hong Kong Island just yet, and set off to The Steop, an amazing South African restaurant on the beach. We sat and enjoyed some sangria as the day turned into night. It was a magical day that I will remember forever.

I became ill in later October. I was in bed, deflated, tired and worn out. Paul called to see how I was feeling. He came over to keep me company. It was exactly what I needed, some passive companionship. Paul slept, while I read my book. They say that when you can spend time together and not feel you have to fill the silence, is when true friendship is born. I needed some quite company, and Paul was there.

Paul had some sad news. He was leaving Hong Kong and moving to Singapore. I couldn't believe it. One month after Richie left, Paul was leaving. I was warned that Hong Kong was the city of transit, but I never thought I would be saying goodbye so soon. Paul understood my passion, and was the only person who could match my desire to know more about Hong Kong. We walked the streets, we went to the cinema, we rode the tram. We had different lifestyles, different friends but we shared one passion, and that was Hong Kong. We could always share the beauty we saw, while others went about their daily lives, missing so much of the magic of the city. I made it my mission to retell the stories, share the beauty and show others what I could see.

Paul left in December but I knew we would be reunited again. He was back within weeks and we met up to tell our stories. When March rolled around, Paul was back again. It was another stunning day so we decided a picnic on the peak would be the perfect way to spend some time together. The sun was shining, we ate the most delicious cheese, bread  and drank some wine.

In late March, my family came to visit. It was a trip I had dreamed of my whole life. My family coming to see me living my dreams. Hong Kong was against me. I felt disheartened that I wasn't able to show the city I had fallen in love with in the best light. One day, I cried and there was only one person I thought of who I knew could restore my faith and that was Paul. I wanted so much for my family to meet this incredible individual who had changed my life and shown me how beautiful the world can be. We met for lunch and his enthusiasm was instantly infectious. The same enthusiasm I had seen from the moment we met. My mum and sister instantly adored him, the same way I do. From that moment, Hong Kong changed, and the remainder of their trip was perfect.

In April I had an event in Singapore. I flew down and checked into my hotel. There was one person I was desperate to see, my dear friend Paul. He had now been living in Singapore for four months so I knew he would be able to show me the city through his eyes. The eyes that had opened my heart to Hong Kong.
We wandered through China town, we saw beautiful churches, grand parks and visited museums. Paul had thought about my trip and I was once again blown away with how much thought had gone into making someone else's adventure so memorable. The act of kindness is something that is so honourable. Paul is the kindest person I have ever met. He lives to make other peoples lives more enjoyable. That is what makes Paul so unique.

Paul bought us tickets for a production of Othello in the garden of one of Singapore's great parks. We sat and enjoyed the show, with of course, another picnic.

Paul doesn't judge people, and therefore he isn't judged. Paul shares his love for life, and therefore life loves him back. Paul is the epitome of 'don't change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love you'.

I feel more than honoured that my life has been touched by this individual. I feel blessed that I met Paul. My life could have been so different if our paths had never crossed. I would not be sitting in Hong Kong, with big plans ahead of me. I would not have seen, or experienced this city in the way I do, if it wasn't for Paul.

I recently had friends staying with me that I know from Petersfield. I wrote them an itinerary, and sent them off into the city to explore and enjoy everything it has to offer. The night before they left, they took me for a drink on an amazing roof top, looking over the whole city. They told me they hadn't planned on staying more than a few days, that they didn't like big cities, and that they were so glad that they had been able to stay for two weeks. They told me they were amazed by Hong Kong. That Hong Kong had changed them. They were so thankful that I showed them the city through my eyes and experiences.

I want to be able to give people what I have been given. I am only in Hong Kong because of someone else's kindness. I was able to start a new life here, because someone gave me an opportunity. That someone was Paul. To be able to give that experience to someone else was a dream come true. I felt Paul present when they told me how wonderful their time was in Hong Kong. I had learnt from him, that sharing and giving was more important to ones happiness than anything else. Money can't buy this level of happiness. Money can't buy the experiences I have had. The lessons I have learnt form Paul have shaped and changed me. I believe in God and I believe that things happen in your life that are meant to be. Good things happen to good people. My friendship with Paul is ever lasting. And he is from this day forward, Saint Paul.

This morning, Paul boarded a plane back to his home in America. His company is taking him away from Asia. He doesn't know how long he will be away for, or if he will definitely return. Hong Kong has changed me, I see people come into my life and then leave. I have learnt from all the goodbyes that the beauty is in the memories. I used to hate saying goodbye, but now I see goodbyes as a new beginning. A new chapter. The experiences I have had outweigh the departure and the goodbyes. It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I don't miss people in the way that I used to. I feel grateful for the times I have shared with them. I have learnt to let go. I have learnt that losing control and accepting the ebb and flow of life brings peace.

Everyone is on a journey, if your paths cross it is beautiful. Sometimes people cross your path and change your direction forever. Whatever happens in the future, the experiences I have had will guide me. I can lean on my memories for support when times get tough. I have learnt to ask for help, to show vulnerability and be myself. If I can inspire, just one person, then I will have changed the world. Paul has inspired me to live the life I dreamed of. And that, I am eternally grateful for.

"Goodbye,  farewell,  au revoir,  再见,  arrivederci,  adieu,  selamat tinggal,  paalam ne"  

Read Paul's inspiring blog here: http://zaijianvillanovanihaohongkong.blogspot.hk/
Paul's blog on my trip to Singapore: http://zaijianvillanovanihaohongkong.blogspot.hk/2013/04/another-friend-in-town.html

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Yangshuo Photos

Morning bamboo boat trip down the Li River 

Wendy- This inspiring lady with bicycle tours  

Moon Hill 

Night cormorant fishing- Yangshuo Li River 

Rice paddies, Guilin 

Monkey Janes, Yangshuo. Our hostel roof top at sunset 

The long haired ladies

Our overnight bus before it filled up. 

Sense of Adventure- Yangshuo China

We grabbed our bags. We were already half an hour behind schedule. My friend Taria arrived in town the week before and she'd stayed with me for a week. Another friend of mine from Petersfield, Krissy, who arrived early in the morning met us and we headed to Lamma for some lunch and a long over due catch up. It had been 10 months since we had seen each other. I was so glad to see her before we set off on our adventure to China. We were heading for Yangshuo, a remote town one hour south of Guilin, where the Li River meets the misty mountains. We rushed to the MTR hoping we had not forgotten anything of great importance. From my home in Prince Edward it would take 30 minutes to reach the Chinese border. We had our visas in hand, applying for them a week before knowing it took four days to process. 

We had researched our journey as much a possible, asking everyone I knew tips and advice. Asking at the travel agent for train and bus tickets, asking at the bus stop, looking on the Internet. Nothing. No amount of research was coming up with the answer we were looking for. How do we book a bus ticket from Shenzen to Yangshuo? A friend had told me to get the train, another: fly. But I was set on getting an over night bus, but there didn't seem to be a way to pre book this. We had read about how to find the bus stop, and what times they left Shenzen, but boarding the MTR, it is fair to say we were heading off blind with the attitude of 'what will be will be' and 'we're not the first to embark on this journey'. In all my travel experience, I have realised, there is always someone to help. 

We approached the Chinese border. We got off at Lo Wu, where we crossed Chinese immigration. Once we cleared immigration our minds switched to 'where is the bus stop'. We knew there were two buses departing from Shenzen that went to Yangshuo, one at 7:30pm and one at 8:30pm. It was 6:54pm when we reached China. 

We stepped outside and were met by a man dressed like an official. We waved our piece of paper with our rough google translation.......'overnight bus to Yangshuo' at him. He directed us to a small counter where we were informed that the bus left at 7:00pm, in six minutes time. We said 'yes yes' and handed him 280 Yuen. We followed a man and waited in the street. I thought about trust. How easily we had put our lives in his hands, and how often I had questioned people that were close to me. We stood on a busy road trying to find a taxi. Time was ticking. The man with us looking more and more distressed as time ticked by. He was on his phone and we came to the conclusion he was communicating with the bus that we were stuck, trying to find a taxi. 'Please please wait', we decided was what he was saying in Chinese. Nothing. We hailed and hailed but no one stopped. Many taxis looking at us like we were foreigners. Which of course we were. So soon after leaving Hong Kong and we were in a completely different world. 

He guided us across the busiest road, jumping over the mid section with heavy traffic coming towards us. We were now far from the border,  with no idea where we were, in China, with a stranger and very late for our bus. I prayed that we would find our way to the bus. Everything would be okay once we were on our bus to Yangshuo. Part of the magic and frustration of travelling is the journey in between the destination. I stayed strong in my belief that things would work out. They alway had before so they would again. 

A car pulled up and the man negotiated with him to take us. We were on our way but against Friday night traffic. Neon lights everywhere, people walking in the street and what appeared to be no order at all. The car stopped and we jumped out, ran across another road, put our bags through and were shuffled into a bus. We had found it. Pure relief. 

The bus had beds lining the full length. We headed to the back and found two beds close together and settled in. Getting comfortable. Or as comfortable as one can get in a small bed on a bus. The next leg of our journey was in process. From what we had read, the bus would take nine hours. There was only a few people on the bus but we set off, wide eyed looking out of the window at China. 

We stopped many times over the next few hours as the bus filled up. More and more people got on, settled into their small beds. More and more piled on, sitting in the gang ways. We couldn't believe people were boarding a nine hour bus journey and sitting in between the beds in the isles. It's fair to say we were surprised how many Chinese people could fit on one bus. 

The lights were tuned off and we settled in. It was hot and not terribly comfortable but we did our best to sleep as our adventure truly began. 

We woke up and looked out of the window. I could see beautiful lamps and mountains. We were close. It was 5am. 

'Yangshuo, Yangshuo'. It was our stop. 

We disembarked and were met by a man who seemed to know who we were and where we were staying. We had emailed ahead to say we were arriving at 5am and to look out for us. We assumed he was from the hostel. He told us we couldn't check in this early and we should go on a boat tour while we waited. 'Brilliant idea' we thought. The sun hadn't come up and what better way to see our destination than to jump on a boat along the Li River. 

He drove us to the river bank where we met another man. He showed us to a bamboo boat and we set off. 

It was silent, mystical and breathtaking. Mountains lined the river and it was the most dramatic view I had seen for a while. From Hong Kong skyscrapers to misty mountains. It truly looked like heaven on earth. I felt completely at peace with the world. My faith felt strong that we had come this far and pure creation lay ahead of us.

We ventured down the river stopping at points to take photos of the most amazing scenery. We felt like we were in The Lord  of the Rings movie. There was no one to be seen as we sailed on the Li river at 6am. It started to rain and it felt like Scotland. With smiles all over our faces we waved at passers by, realising that the day had begun and the people taking photos of us had possibly never seen western before. 

The man who had dropped us off met us and drove us to our hostel. We realised he was the 'bad man' we had been warned about when he tried to sell us various excursions and now appeared to be unrelated to our hostel. This being said, he had shown us a beautiful morning so we decided he was only semi-bad. It was still only just 8am. Our hostel, Monkey Janes had been recommended to us and it was dead. No one to be found. 

Tired and desperate for a shower we waited for our room to be ready. 

We were shown to our room and we instantly jumped into the shower. I finished, jumped into bed and instantly fell asleep. Taria woke me up and I was dazed. What had happened? We had arrived at our destination, stress free with days ahead of us and we had already been on a Chinese adventure and still had days ahead of us. 

We hadn't had anything to eat for over 24 hours so we headed out for some food. We found a small place to eat, ordering the most delicious Thai fried rice and omelette. We were approached by many touts trying to sell postcards, tours and tourist tat. A lady approached us with a book. She spoke good English and we read her testimonials, written by tourists that she had taken on bicycle tours around Yangshuo. I had learnt from experience in Sri Lanka this was a good way to meet locals and see something off the beaten track. She was called Wendy and we arranged to meet outside our hostel to set off on a unique tour around Yangshuo and the surrounding countryside.

We collected push bikes and set off. Putting our trust once again in a complete stranger. There is something every liberating about having no set agenda and going with the flow of a new place. We cycled out of Yangshuo and biked though the countryside. The surroundings were outstanding. Rolling hills, green luscious views and a dramatic mountain backdrop. It was the rural China experience I had dreamed of. Biking through little Chinese villages, children playing in the streets, chickens running around,  old women collecting water and old men guiding water buffalo around rice paddies. 

We came to the Gold Water Cave and Wendy negotiated a good price for us. We entered and were guided around the caves underneath the mountains. Lights lit up stalagmites and stalactites. Our guide told us to use our imaginations as she described various words she knew in English. The rocks supposedly representing a dog, frog, curtain, broccoli, turtle and pig while pointing at the cave walls. We laughed at the Chinese tradition of needing to name everything. We came to a mud bath which we jumped into. It was freezing.  Who knows how many miles deep into the mountain we were. No warmth from the sun to be found all the way down here. It reminded me of my school days when we used to go caving in Wales. We showered and shivered while following our guide, covered in mud, in our bikinis. We came to another bath, this time it was steaming. We instantly jumped in. It was like entering into a hot bath on a Sunday evening. Pure bliss, miles under ground, no natural light and the world a million miles away. 

We emerged from the caves, tired, wet and exhausted with a long bike ride ahead of us. We asked Wendy how long it would be till we were home. She suggested going to Moon Hill so we agreed. We arrived a few minutes later and sat and had a cold beer. The day had been long and we had already achieved a huge amount. I alway think to myself while on an adventure 'if I had to leave now, would it be enough?' I knew it had already been. We had squeezed days worth of tours into our first day. 

We sat and ordered a beer. We asked Wendy 'how long have you lived in Yangshou?' 

Wendy told us her story. It was the most moving story I had ever heard. She explained that she had been so poor and the Chinese 'Cultural Revolution' in the 60's had meant the Chinese people were only allowed one child. She had had two daughters and one son, but had to pay for her son as the government only allowed for one child. She explained how poor she had been and that she couldn't afford to educate her children. One day she met an American named Judy who suggested she start doing tours to earn money. Wendy invited Judy to her home to meet her family. Wendy had been terribly poor, not being able to afford educating her children and struggling to survive. Judy bought her a note book, and wrote how wonderful Wendy had been and that tourists should trust her. The same book we were presented earlier at lunch. I felt moved by her story. She told us that her parents were paid 1 Yuen a day which is less that £1. She was so honest. I felt warm inside to hear her moving story. To think I have been worrying about such simple things recently and she, one in a billion, and here, sitting in front of me was someone who had almost given up hope, and then someone came and changed her life, supporting her and offering comfort through a struggle and giving her life.  

We left and cycled back to Yangshuo. People lined the streets selling fruit and congregating in groups. The scenery surrounding us was still stunning. The exact picture and dream I had dreamt of. 

Tired and dazed we arrived back at our hostel. We had seen and achieved so much in 24 hours. It felt like days had passed but only a few hours had gone by. I had dreamt of China, and we had arrived in my dreams. 

We set our alarm for 6:30am. An early start to go and see the rice paddies two hours north of Guilin. Longsheng was our destination where the famous rice paddy fields lay for as far as the eyes could see. The bus journey would be four hours. In true Chinese style, the bus was filled to maximum capacity. We drove through Guilin, and then the rain came down. It truly was rainy season. We looked at each other and then down at our inappropriate clothing for the torrential rain outside. We killed time on the bus playing hand clapping games and 'this little piggy' with a five year old French girl sitting on her mums knee next to us. Children weren't allowed there own seats on this bus. She was very sweet, with blonde locks of hair. Her mum asking about my hair and the best way to look after it. 

The rain continued. We weren't looking forward to disembarking the bus even though we had now been cooped up for over three hours. We stopped, and ran for cover. We had to change buses. We began our climb up the mountain in a smaller, local bus. Huangluo Yao Village was our destination where the long haired ladies were to perform a song and ceremony for us. The ladies had hair over 2 meters long, wrapped around their heads. We were told that the ladies only cut their hair once in their life times and traditionally no one apart from their husbands was allowed to see the full length. a tradition broken in the 80's. The show was remarkable as the women displayed their traditional songs and their flowing hair. 

We followed the river round, walking over a very rickety bridge. The river was full, fast and furious as the rain continued to fall from the heavens. Back onto the bus and another climb up the mountain. The roads were very rocky and close to the edge. Deep breaths as we passed buses on the opposite side, with inches between us and the sheer cliff edge. We reached our destination and were told it was a further 20 minute hike up to our lunch destination. The path was a river. Fast gushing water with a vertical climb. We stopped to take some photos of the rice paddies which were barely visible. 

We came to a restaurant on the edge of the rice paddies miles up the mountain side. The whole group looked delighted to have reached somewhere we could sit, enjoy some food and drink a cold beer. The food was more than delicious and worth every step, bus and rain drop. 

We sat while the rain subsided. We walked up to the peak through the Chinese rural village on the rice paddies. The sun came out and it was beautiful. As far as the eyes could see lay rice fields on top of the mountains that lay before us. We had a four hour bus joinery ahead and we came back into Yangshuo just as the sun was setting. 

The following morning we had some breakfast at the roof top bar at our hostel. The sun was shining as we enquired and booked a day kayaking down the Li River. We were collected and driven down the river. We had to watch our step as we walked past a water buffalo protecting her young calf. We settled into our kayaks and sailed down stream passing the fantastical mountain views. It was so peaceful and we were the only people on the river. A man sailed behind us in his bamboo boat 'baby sitting tourists'. The mid day sun beating down on us. Two good friends, drifting down the river in pure ore of our surroundings. We were told to head to the the river bank before we came to Liugong Village. Our baby sitting tourist man guided us through the little village where villagers sat playing cards, making jewellery and eating rice. It was obvious how poor the local people were, and evidence of this part of China being the poorest in the country. We waited for a local bus back to Yangshuo. 

We arrived back at our hostel, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. We enquired about a massage to sooth our tired shoulder from all the kayaking. We booked a massage and headed out into the village to find the local delicacy, beer fish. We came to a restaurant with it on the menu, as well as frog and dog!! We opted for the beer fish and stuffed peppers. Sitting by the stream that ambled past us, we agreed it resembled Switzerland or a small rural town in Germany. It was peaceful and the perfect afternoon to follow on from our kayaking adventure. 

We had our massage and booked on to the cormorant night fishing tour. Cormorant fishing is a tradition dating back years, where local fisher men train the birds to catch fish, tying string around the birds necks to ensure their catch isn't digested by the birds. It was amazing to see this tradition. After another action packed day we wandered through the streets back to our hostel. As soon as we lay down we feel into a deep sleep. 

Blue skies greeted us for our final day in China. We wanted to hire bikes to explore a little village called Fuli, which was famous for its fans. We biked off into the distance exploring little village and soaking up our surroundings for the last time. We were booked onto the overnight bus leaving Yangshuo at 9pm destined for Hong Kong. 

We dropped our bikes off, 10 Yuen for the day (£1) and the heavens opened. When it rains it pours, as everyone ran for cover. We settled into an afternoon of reading and sampling the cafe cocktails. We emerged a few hours later, ready to pack and eat before our 12 hour night journey. We sat on the roof and watched the sun set for the final time, reflecting on our trip and playing cards with locals. 

Our bus arrived at 9pm, and we found our beds for the night. It was a long journey back home. Another bumpy ride. The overnight bus is not for the faint hearted. 

We arrived back in Shenzen, but miles from the border. The journey so close to completion but first we had to navigate a large Chinese city. A task, after little sleep was frustrating and demanding. No one speaking English as we headed in the wrong direction on a local bus, having to borrow money off two Australian travellers. We finally came to the familiar sight of Lu Wo and a sign for Hong Kong. Still little order or much evidence of how to cross. With little energy we crossed the boarder and boarded the MTR straight back to Prince Edward, a mere 30 minutes from the Chinese border, and home. It was good to be home. 

China was beautiful. The poverty surprising and sometimes shocking. The landscape breathtaking and the people we met, inspiring. 

A different type of spa

After a challenging week I pulled myself together to rejoin reality on Friday. I woke early and made it to work by 7:30am. I had such a lot to catch up on.

The weekend promised friends, new and old. I had met Olivia just over a month ago at a gathering in my flat, before it was mine and was still Matt's. Matt had a leaving do, Olivia was there, I was there. We emailed and arranged to meet up when she had returned from Nepal and I from Penang.

Olivia worked in Wan Chai and after a few exchanged texts, we arranged to meet for lunch on the public rooftop at The Pawn, an old heritage building in Wan Chai.

We instantly clicked and discussed our lives, beliefs and faith. We shared stories, concerns and advice. It is safe to say, instant friends.

I invited Olivia over to my new apartment on Saturday to collage/scrap book after discovering this was a creative interest we shared. I had a wonderful relaxing Saturday morning. Tidying up, drinking tea and exploring my new flat, all to myself on a Saturday. I was in heaven. I listened to music, wrote, read, contacted friends, planned, researched and cleaned. All the things I love. Olivia arrived after lunch and we sat and rummaged through old magazines, cutting, pasting, talking and sharing. I felt very lucky to have found a new friend who shared a very important new part of me. My faith. We talked about our journeys to find God.

Olivia left and I had an early night, knowing I needed to be up and about by 7am the following morning.
I woke at 5:30am. I finished off a documentary I had started the night before about North Korea. At 7:30am I hopped on the MTR to Central to meet with a friend to head up the Peak for a morning hike. We met at 8:30 and we instantly commented on the length of time since our last meeting, before Christmas. Hong Kong can quickly absorb time. One visitor after the next, work commitments, friends coming and going, weddings, celebrations and holidays. Time flies in this city.

We set off from Bonham Road. This was a hike we had done before, but only at night. It was a cool and beautiful morning. Just what I needed. Some fresh air, vigorous exercise and good conversation. We had lots to catch up on. Four months worth of adventures.

We talked about work, as she used to work at the same company I now work at, leaving only a year ago. It was good to talk about work with someone who knew everyone I talked about. Similarly, she offered advice and encouragement.

We walked around the entire perimeter of the Peak. We were among the clouds today. We talked about our family visits, life in Hong Kong and people leaving. It was the perfect Sunday morning.

I made my way back to my home. Meandering through the market. There were a few things I wanted to buy. A new outfit for my second event. On Wednesday I head to Singapore for an event I have worked hard to make a success. I will be in Singapore for five days. After my event I will meet with my dear friend Paul. I am very excited about having my number one tour guide show me around a new city in Asia. Paul had a big part to play in my love for Hong Kong.

I arrived back at my flat, with new purchases. I had a shower and relaxed before I headed out again.
I had been invited by Olivia to join her at the evening service at her church. When I arrived in Hong Kong it felt very important to me to find a church. I had looked at The Vine, just before I met Josh who introduced me to St Stephens Society. I have been going along to this church in Li Chi Kok for nearly ten months. Being someone to never turn down an opportunity to experience something new in Hong Kong I wet along and met Olivia at 4pm on Wan Chai road, the road I moved from only two weeks ago to attend The Vine.

I walked in and was instantly reminded of Spring Harvest, Word Alive. It was an auditorium packed with young people. The average age had to be 25, a few older faces, but 90% under 30.

We sang and prayed together, always saying 'amen' as one. I had been told by Olivia that they were very creative with their worship, something I was instantly keen to experience. She told me that at a previous service they were all asked to write down on a piece of paper a time in their life where they hadn't felt God present in a difficult situation. They then put the pieces of paper up on the wall and all the lights were turned off. A UV light was shone. Before the pieces of paper were distributed, JESUS had been written in the centre. Now the light shone to reveal that JESUS was written in the centre of the pages, in the middle of the problems that had been noted moments before. This showed that God was always at the centre of everything, he was always there.
We sang and you could feel the connection. The peace.

Tony Read took to the stage. He reminded me of David Attenborough. Wise, deep voice and knowledgeable. Faith, belief and compassion was written in large words on the screen behind him. He talked about the 'F' word. Failure and frustration. We read from Mark 9. "Everything is possible for one who believes"

I felt reassured that this journey I was on I no longer was on it alone. I no longer had to just rely on myself, I was supported, unconditionally and loved through the failures and successes. I wasn't alone anymore.

We then were presented with a Martin Luther king Jr quote:

"No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for"

This resonates with me. I have, for some time been seeking the answer to this in my own life. What in your life, can you absolutely not do? What is your focus, drive, inspiration? What is your purpose, direction, legacy?

We were then told to get our iPhones out. Everyone that had an iPhone was asked to stand up. I was impressed at how many people owned one. We were asked to locate the compass app and find zero degrees north. This indicated a direction. He went on to say how Christ had died for the world, and the church was created to live for the world. I felt connected in this. Like I had found my direction. We were here to live the best lives we could, in his creation. We had chosen to live in his name, trust him and believe in him.

We were then told to write the following........
Failure
-It's gunna happen!!! But you are not alone
-Never give up. Persist.
-Failure is good for you. It helps you to learn about yourself, grow and develop. It helps you to understand the world. There is life beyond failure. It makes you empathetic. Compassionate.
-Don't live in fear of failure. Live beyond fear with God.

What is underneath this lesson?
Strength, hope and encouragement.

I had noticed apples under chairs at the start and now was the time Tony instructed everyone to reach under their chairs. There were 100 apples distributed, and those that had them were told to start eating. As they ate their apples he talked about strength returning after hard times. The circle of life. That from small seeds, orchards do grow. Once the apple eaters had finished they were told to pick out the seeds and give them to everyone who didn't have an apple under their chair. Seeds were distributed from the apple eaters and everyone in the congregation now had one. The entire congregation was now holding a piece of the apple. This represented growth. Eternal purpose.

Look for the seeds in life. The hope. The light at the end of the tunnel. Find the knowledge that you are not alone. That through the darkness the light comes back and shines through you.

We sang and prayed once again. Olivia putting her hand on my shoulder and I felt comforted. I had found a family. I had finally found my tribe in Hong Kong. This is where I belonged.

I was introduced to Olivia's friend. She simply said 'I feel like I've been to the spa' she was right. I felt invigorate for the week ahead. It was the perfect ending to the week and the courage I needed to take on the week ahead. I was completely at one with the world.

Guilty or not guilty?

I heard some very shocking news last night. An old friend of mine from the Alton College days took his life last week and I only just found out.

I spent a considerable amount of time with him and now it means a considerable amount of time in his short 26 years. I feel guilty and very shaken up with the news. I kept waking up last night after dreams with him in. I always thought I would bump into him in London, when we were both in our 40's, go for coffee and laugh about the old days and how silly we all were. I will never get the chance to say how very sorry I was for everything that happened between us. I was much younger back then, and less aware of my actions. This doesn't make it hurt any less.

We have all felt lost at times in the world, even low enough to think the worst at times. One thing that always pulls me out of this is knowing how much love there is in the world for me. My friends and family are always so supportive, and however lost, sad and confused I have been in the past, I have always felt a reason to keep going. I feel desperately sad that my friend didn't feel this. That he felt that lost in the world.

We spent a summer together back in 2003. Every waking hour we spent side by side. We slept side by side and connected on a deep level. We had a big fall out and turned against each other after returning to college. A young lovers tiff.

It was ten years ago but I can still remember every day vividly. The curse of a good memory.

After college we all went our separate ways. Some of the friends I made during my time at Alton college remain some of my closest friends. We have known each other for ten years and they are now my oldest friends. We have supported each other through all the hard times, low times and spent many memorable times together.

I feel guilty for the bad words that went between him and I. I feel bad that I will never get to say how sorry I am for all the nasty things I said and did to him. He often asked me if I was still angry at him, whenever we bumped into each other in the street, pub or supermarket and I never took the opportunity to say sorry. How I wish now I hadn't waited. Believing this fantasy that we would one day meet again and I would be able to say those three words to him. I. Am. Sorry.

People are saying some very comforting things to me. Even I am shocked at how much it has shaken me up. I haven't spoken to him much in the last ten years and still my heart feels empty. We connected on a deep level and this is more apparent than ever today.

I am so lucky to have walked away from that time in my life with good friends and good memories. We left him behind. I am someone who has learned to forgive quickly. I am someone who loves greatly. And yet I never had the opportunity to sit down with him and tell him how much he meant to me. I never had the chance to show him that there is love in the world and every reason to keep fighting. The best is yet to come.

At 26, I still have days where I feel confused and lost in this sometimes surprising world we live in. I have days that I reflect back to my Alton College days and think, did we party too hard? Everything you do, every decision you make has an affect on your life, and sometimes on the lives around you. People keep telling me that suicide is a selfish act. But I can't see that. I feel sad for the lost soul who believed he couldn't carry on. I feel loss that he never felt loved. Never had someone to turn to. Open up to. Throw your hands in the air and say 'help me please'. I would never turn my back on someone who needed me. But I did turn my back on him.

I was 16 and thought I was invincible back then. How invisible I feel right now. We were young and care free. We created drama in our lives as a game and thought nothing of the long term effects. We wound each other up about things, mocked and joked around. I was attention seeking as I tried to work through my own insecurities, never taking into consideration the long term impact of doing this. I thought about myself more then I thought about how my actions were affecting others. I was deeply unsure of myself and used other people to try and make myself feel more settled in the world.

Since then I have become a loving individual and I care deeply for others. I forgive easily and say I'm sorry regularly. I never hold a grudge and feel at one with the world. It has taken years of questioning myself, my beliefs and actions to come to this point. There is one person in this world that I never had the opportunity to say how deeply sorry I am for the bad words and actions between us.

Please say a prayer for my friend today. For him and his family.

He has left the world and I hope he can now rest in peace.

I hope you know that I am thinking of you and I am glad I spent those memorable times with you ten years ago. You have taught me to never let anything go unsaid. I will remember you forever.