I have never had such a life changing year in all my 26 years. I have started something very exciting. Living.
I want to look back. Start at the beginning. A year that changed my life. A reflection and then the prediction. I will post a quote for each month that inspired me, one photo and one song.
January
I decided things were going to be different this year. I was not going to see this year out in England, and I knew that. I was not going to stay standing still. I was not going to live my life through others. I was not going to watch other peoples lives from the side lines. I was beginning an incredible adventure. I knew not where it would lead. But I felt the magic that first day in 2012, and I was about to take the biggest step of my life.
'Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase'
I felt different. I was different and this year was going to be different. I knew it. I felt it in my heart. I was inspired by possibility. I was free to do anything. So I did.
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| My inspiration was my nephew. He taught me in a second about love and life. |
Wicked! Defying Gravity - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMBcTGJ4YM
February
I had a ticket out of the UK in my hand. By the end of the month I would be on the opposite side of the world. I had made a decision and I was on my way. The realisation and proof that dreams do come true. I was in love for the first time with the beauty of life. I was deeply in love with the promises of change. And I was making it happen, all by my self.
'Dear Heart,
Fall in love when you're ready, not when you are lonely.
I am enough and I am loved.'
One of the most amazing discoveries was that I already had what I was looking for. I had it all along. I was searching for something which I found within me, around me and everywhere I looked. Love.
Ben Howard- Keep Your Head Up- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADP65wbBUpc&list=FLdJf5Tza3bokd7yaQ6MQejw&index=21
March
Independent. Set free and on my way. I was in Australia, eyes wide open. Mind on fire with plans. So many questions. Too many. I was in Australia but my heart wasn't. I was in the right place at the wrong time and I knew it. In hindsight, this was a huge factor in the months that followed. A chapter was about to close and I wasn't sure what new door would be opened. I sat back and embraced contemplation and the unanswerable questions. What next?
'Not all those who wander are lost'
J R R Tolkien
The ability to ride the waves. The strength to question it all and find comfort from not knowing the answers. Who needs answers when you have the time, the space and the freedom to explore the unknown. This was my time, my life and I was living it. The door was open and I realised there was an entire world out there.
Coldplay - Paradise - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4isv_Fylg
April
While I sat and contemplated the world, my world and my life, I found faith. I knew I was going somewhere, I knew my time with my family was precious, so I spent the month in their trusted hearts. I was reflecting on possibilities, searching for something and I found comfort in my family. I went to church, I read, I wrote, I listened, I watched, I observed and I thought that I was on the edge of something life changing and I was glad to be surrounded by the love of my family.
To thine own self be true
All the world is a stage
To be or not to be
I found peace. I let go of burdens. I was safe in the nest and I was being nurtured. I had family. I had a family and friends that loved me, for whatever decisions I made. As long as I made the decisions based on truth and love, my loved ones would support me in which ever direction I chose to go in. I was surrounded by love and no distance was every going to change that.
Angus and Julia Stone - I'm Yours- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj1AOKUPYTY&list=PL18FAC3B1C083B525
May
I was getting somewhere. Slowly things were becoming clearer. The rain was subsiding and the sun was promising. I felt warm. One quest was over and another was about to begin. Not a new chapter, a new life. I didn't need my comfort zone any more. I was comfortable with feeling uncomfortable and knew that was where my magic was. I realised the uncertainty was my destiny. I didn't need answers. I didn't need safety. I was ready to test the boundaries of new surroundings.
'You're off to great places.
Today is your day.
Your mountain is waiting.
So get on your way'
Dr Seuss
I knew what I didn't want. That was enough to get me on a plane on the 29th May. I didn't want to walk to my little office in Petersfield, not brave enough to board a plane to the unknown. That was to much to bear. So I did.
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| Within 3 days of arriving in Hong Kong I met two people who would change the course of my year and life. I moved in to their flat the following month. Richie and Paul. |
June
Saying goodbyes with time limits. Last time to be doing this and that. I had five weeks left in the UK before heading to Hong Kong to start a new life. A wild and quick decision. It felt right so I went with it. I was focused on the goal, I researched and contacted everyone and anyone that I thought might be able to help me out when I finally took the steps. It felt like I was killing time, but really I was waiting to start my new life. I was excited and empty. I was in transition. I wasn't nervous or apprehensive It was the first time in my life, where huge change was imminent, and yet I felt no fear. I realised that all the reasons I had had before to stay, were now all gone. No reason to stay, was enough to make me realise that it was my time to go. It was surprising how much thinking time I had, and yet I wasn't worrying or anxious. My mum confirmed that she felt the same. We were both at peace with my decision.
'Twenty years from now
You will be more disappointed by the things your didn't do
Than by the ones you did.
So thrown off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour,
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover'
Mark Twain
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| Good friends are friends you have your whole life |
July
I swayed between 'I have so much to do before I leave' and 'nothing is more important that spending every waking moment with my family and friends'. The latter winning every time. There wasn't much more than buying a few bits, packing a few things, and anything I didn't have time for, clearly wasn't important enough. By the end of the month I would be in another country, in a different life with everything familiar around me soon becoming a distant memory. 'The final time' was becoming the phrase of the month as I said my goodbyes to places, people and what had been my life for the past 25 years. I organised a night to the theatre with my mum, a leaving dinner party with my friends packed my bags, said endlessly 'I love you'. This time I didn't cry. I knew that this was the right move for me. I knew that everyone would move on with their lives and I knew people wouldn't forget me. I received leaving gifts and words of encouragement One of the cards simply said 'your energy and enthusiasm is contagious'.
'It's not the destination, it's the journey'
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| The final sunset in just as I boarded my plane on the 26th July 2012. |
I saw the end of July come to a close, sitting in Hong Kong, in the perfectly named, Happy Valley. I had a chance to be anything I wanted. I was fresh off the boat. No one knew me. I was a happy stranger to this city, eyes like a rabbit in the head lights, and my heart was wide open to feel everything that came my way. I had arrived.
August
One of the most motivational and exciting months of my life. Every day I felt alive. Things kept happening that only confirmed my decision. I felt unstoppable. I felt great. I was learning new lessons every day. I was an independent women of the world and it felt good. I went to interviews, I signed up to charities and I found an apartment. I made friends, I went on adventures every day, everything was new to me, everything therefore was exciting.
'Don't change so people will like you,
Be true to yourself, always, and the right people will love the real you'
I moved house, I moved back, I studied and was offered a job. I freaked out and I settled into my new life. I was living proof that all I had to do was believe in myself and i could make big things happen. From this moment on, and forever, I pride in how far I had come, and I was anticipating how far I could go
Matrix & Futurebound - All I know (Maduk remix) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sdy2odzP9Y&list=PL5B874FC3543C3523
September
My last month of not having an official job. It was still blisteringly hot and humid. I had a friend coming to visit, I had a new apartment to move into. I had landed my dream job and I had four weeks to enjoy. It wasn't a stress free month, in fact, it was the hardest month in Hong Kong. So much was changing, and at a rapid pace, that I struggled to keep up and felt anxious for the commitments and change. I signed contracts and tried to settle my worries. I reminded myself all the time and reassured myself that I was doing very well considering the journey i had been on. I found comfort in my new friends who cared about me, and seeing an old friend set me back on track.
'It's impossible' said Pride
'It's risky' said Experience
'It's pointless' said Reason
'Give it a try' whispered The Heart
So I did. I moved into a new apartment and started to prepare for the next chapter of my life. Living and working in Hong Kong. Be careful what you dream for, because you might just get it. I was grateful to have the love and support around me and I needed it more this month than ever before. I was lucky that it was there. I was filled with enthusiasm and I was ready to give it my all. I was happy in the knowledge, if it didn't all go to plan, that I had given all that I had.
October
October was culture month. I had theatre tickets and a new job to make heads and tails of. I was prepared for the challenges, and I was prepared to take each day as it came my way. Not putting pressure on myself, and allowing myself time to settle into the new role. I was grateful for the friendly faces in the office, who were all happy to help. I explored more of the Hong Kong art scene and felt that the creative flare in my heart was beginning to grow. I spent days in the sun and had to say goodbye to more good friends that I had made in such a short space of time. Realising this city is one of the most life affirming places in the world.
'When one door closes, a window is opened and new life floods in with the sun'
'The best is yet to come'
I was finding my feet and voice in my new surrounding. I was becoming stronger and making better decisions. I joined clubs and worked hard. I was learning about time management and enjoying new invitations. The end of the year was creeping up quickly. I was really starting to make good friends, no longer was I desperate to fill my time with anyone who invited me anywhere. I now had to be more selective with my time and I was beginning to connect with people on a deep and meaningful level
Ludovico Einaudi- Two Sunsets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUKcmyZ2NEw&list=PL393F00452A1BFE7C
November
I turned a year older, and wiser. Turning 25 had a huge impact on me, and I was proud at how far I had come in only a year. I had been at my new job for a month, in my new apartment for one month and I was starting to feel like home. I began to find beauty in creating, and I had found a friend who shared the same creative passions and desire to explore the unknown. We adventured around Hong Kong, we embraced the inspiration all around us. We shared music, stories, art and poetry. My creative flare was ignited. I couldn't wait to begin my new life in Hong Kong. I continued to make progress at work, learning all about responsibility and consequences. I smiled at the world, and it smiled right back at me.
'I think it is very healthy to sped time alone.
You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person'
Oscar Wilde
I went for dinner by myself, I walked, I shared boat rides with inspiring people, I encouraged others and listened and helped. I was understanding more and more everyday my potential and I was gradually developing the strength to truly believe in myself and strive for more. I was on my way
The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idj5_PwRl1k&list=PL18FAC3B1C083B525&index=42
December
There was excitement about the final weeks of the year. People returning home, news of family to soon be arriving. There was exploration of new music, time to spend with friends. Still new experiences, concerts, ballet and hikes. Everyone was wrapping up their year and I was planning for the future. I felt very special to have woken up to see so much throughout the year. I was honoured to have felt and learnt the things I had throughout the year. I was looking forward to escaping the city and heading to new lands in the Philippines.
I was surrounded by people who were inspiring me to strive for me, be more, reach for the stars. I had found my fellow children of the universe. In the city of lost souls.
'I choose
To live by choice, not by chance;
To make changes, not excuses;
To be motivated, not manipulated;
To be useful, not used;
To excel, not compete;
I choose self esteem, not self pity;
I choose to listen to my inner voice;
Not the random opinion of others.'
2013
To write more: poetry, short stories, my blog and my scrap book and send off for publishing
To travel: Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, China, Indonesia, Australia, Korea, and where ever the wind takes me
To find a finite balance in life
To continue to learn life's lessons
To smile when things are hard, and to feel it when times are good
To reward myself
To be less critical and harsh on myself
To support and love myself UNCONDITIONALLY
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